Monday, August 10, 2009

Trade Offs

Weight: 258.9
BMI: 44.44

-.9 pounds day to day. 19.1 pounds total. I'm getting very close to the 20 pound mark. I don't think I've ever lost 20 pounds, so that would be a big milestone. I'm also now only 8.9 pounds away from my first goal. I'm 35 days in and have 36 days left. As of tomorrow, I'll be more than halfway in in terms of time. Even if my heart's not in it at this very moment, I'm making a ton of progress.

I think part of the cloud hanging over me is that I have a crunch time at work. I've just got a ton a ton of stuff that needs to be done soon, a lot of it by tomorrow. (Which probably means I shouldn't be blogging instead of working, but shhhhh.) And this is making me want food more.

I've always used food as a crutch to get me through the hardest parts at work and school. A pizza has always been an excellent companion for an all nighter. Even in my unhealthy days, I'd always get something special, something even unhealthier than I'd normally eat, just to get me through, like a bag of Cheetos, or soda with calories. And I'd always, always get a Starbucks venti white mocha. (At 580 calories and over $5, even I would normally only have that a treat.) But it was all okay, because it was crunch time: the time when work was more important than everything, and any standards of decency could be sacrificed on the altar of getting things done.

Well, it's crunch time. I'll see what I can do on my own, but I think I'm probably going to indulge a bit more than usual. Not, order a large pizza indulge, but something.

While I've been writing this, I keep alt tabbing to look at possible things I could consume that would be "worth it." Everything I look at I keep nixing. Not worth the weigh in, I tell myself. And even though I weigh myself every day, Tuesday's the big "official" weigh in day, the one that goes on the side of the blog. And I don't want to fuck that up.

As of now, I'll see how I can do while staying healthy. I may end up going off course if it's what's going to get my work done. As much as I don't want to, if I can't work, it might be a trade off I'm willing to make tonight.


  1. Congrats on the loss and being so close to your milestone. How about some popcorn for the munchies...airpopped! Lots of fiber, healthier than cheetos.

    Good luck getting all that work done.

  2. Oh I know what you mean, theres nothing like pizza getting you through a tough time! Its hard to move on from all that badness but its a MUST!

    Have fun with all that work :)

  3. Congratulations on being so close to a 20 lb loss. That is real weight loss right there. Bravo!

    The Boca Bruschetta Tomato Basil Parmesan Veggie Patties are so rich and taste pizza like. They are super healthy too. You can have the flavors that you crave - you just have to find an alternative that works. I love these!

  4. 20 lbs is huge. Make a big push and get there this week. You can do it!

  5. I think that 20 pounds is wonderful, and so close for you!! Congratulations.

    I still love pizza. . .

  6. Wondeful job! Fight for it and stay strong. You have worked so hard to make it happen. Think of something else to crave and desire. Take yourself to a movie, the bookstore, park, zoo, musuem, spa, or just take a nap. You have good goals stay positive. Good Luck!

  7. Great job on almost losing 20 lbs! I agree with the pop corn comment. Jolly Time makes some great Healthy Pop Kettle Corn!

  8. Here to give you some more congrats on getting close to 20lbs! I'd go ahead and round up to 20 if it were me ;)

    I still dream of pizza.

    The Skinny On Getting Skinny