Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Why yes, I am going to talk about Biggest Loser today

I'd never watched the Biggest Loser before. Sure, there were all those non-reason reasons for why I don't watch most shows: I don't watch much tv in general, and watch very little reality TV in particular. More than that, though, I definitely had an aversion to the fact that it was a fat TV show. Sure, I've been fat since the end of high school, but it wasn't really something I liked to think about. I wasn't the sort of person who went on endless diets (this is exactly my third). I cared more about other things. I mean, I knew I was fat, but if you gave me a list of things to self identify with, I'd be far more likely to choose things like economist, traveler, film buff, adventurer, analyst, New Yorker, etc. than fat. It's not that I wasn't fat, it was just that, well, I was other things too, and those were the things I cared about more.

Since this journey began, I've been thinking of myself as fat. Not as the first thing I am, but up there on the list. A big part of my life right now is that I am morbidly obese, and that I'm working hard to change that. In terms of how I spend my time, energy, money and thoughts, it's clear that "being fat" and some day, hopefully, being not quite so fat, are really, really important to me.

I've even started watching fat shows, really, for no other basis than they're about fat people. Drop Dead Diva is an atrocious and ridiculous show, yet one I tivo every Sunday and reliably watch. (I'm not a lawyer, and still their concept of the law makes me want to scream at the writers and be like "is it really that hard to do some basic research, you idiots?") I watch More to Love. The show makes me want to take the people aside and say "no, sweetie, Luke did not plan that date for you, the producers did, and while we're talking, could you please try to be less dumb?"

So, with my new found interest in fat media, I of course set my Tivo last night for Biggest Loser. Since I hate commercials almost as much as I hate coach seats on airplanes and pickles, I didn't start watching until 8:30. By 8:32 I was sobbing.

The show is great. It's fabulous. It's wrenching. I cried more than I'd like to admit, and got inspired by several of the sappy thing that are supposed to inspire you. I was doing leg lifts and sit ups on the couch as I watched, breaking occasionally when the tears overwhelmed me. It blew me away.

Right now, my BMI is 42.56. That means I'm fatter than Abby, Amanda, Dina and Liz were at the start. On July 7th, when I started this journey, my BMI was 47.71. At that point, I was fatter than everyone but Antoine, Danny, Julio, Rudy, Sean, and Shay. As someone who's bigger than 4 of the Biggest Loser contestants, there's no doubt I'm in terrible shape. But only 72 short days ago, I would've been bigger than 10 of them. I'm making progress.

I bought myself a bodybugg last night. At $250, I probably shouldn't have gone for it as an impulse purchase, but as I was thinking about it last night it became something I really wanted. I think it's going to be incredibly motivating to see how small things can make a difference. They're running a promotion where the digital display (normally $100) is included free, so if anyone else has been on the line, this might be the moment.


  1. You've come a long way!! You should be very proud!
    I forgot about BL last night...dangit!

  2. Don't feel bad about springing for the Bugg; feel bad if you don't use it.

  3. You are going to LOVE your bugg!!!!

  4. Wow! You have done a great job. I think it's really wise instead of focusing only on where you are today, that you took time to look at how far you have already come!

    Those bugg things are so neat! I hope you enjoy it.

  5. Thanks for the heads up about the Bugg. I'm on the fence. If you USE it, I'm sure it's ToTALLLY worth it. So USE IT!!! =)

    FYI - Come to my blog and vote for our reward we won as being the biggest losers in pounds this week!!

  6. I'm with you on the Bugg, Heather...I'm so on the fence.

    You'll have to let us know how it goes for you Hadley. I have a feeling that your analytical mind will love having all that information at your fingertips!

    Congrats on focusing how how far you've come & where you are today. You have come a long way & deserve to feel proud of that accomplishment!

  7. Your first paragraph was incredibly inspirational, I love that you know yourself as someone else. I can never describe myself as anything other than fat. I actually might print it up and stick it on my mirror.

    The second paragraph made me laugh hysterically, especially at the "Could you please try to be less dumb?" part.

    I wish I could afford a BodyBugg, that is awesome that you got one, I cant wait to read your reviews on it!

  8. I cried when--I forget her name, the woman who lost her family--was telling her story. Not long after, the pone rang. I will have issues with Jillian screaming and swearing--that really bothers me, but I am going to watch it this season.

    I have looked at the Body Bugg and GoWearFit and I think I am going to instead get a heart monitor that you wear on your arm. It also calculates calories burned. I haven't ordered yet a I'm still undecided. I've also thought about renting the BodyBugg for a week.

    I hope you love it.

  9. I dislike reality tv...I really do. That being said, I can't watch The Biggest Loser, because I too become a sniveling mess during the show. There is so much there that I can relate to. One day at a time, and you will get to the goal you want! Of that I have no doubt. You've already got your head in the game, and that is the hardest part!

    I've not heard of BodyBugg...will go google it now.


  10. Loved this post! I know I say that a lot, but it is true.:-) You have such a great way of writing that gets your point across in a thoughtful and inspiring manner.
    I loved the way that you identify with who you are. I think so many of us lose sight of that along this journey of getting fit and losing the weight.
    I have never seen The Biggest Loser as we don't have tv, but my Saturday walking buddy LOVES it, and so I get to hear about it a lot.
    You have come such a long way, both mentally and physically. I for one am very impressed!

  11. For many reasons fat people are motivating to most people. I can speak on this because I am a fat person becoming smaller. I have had skinny people come up to me after a kickboxing class to say what a great job I did finishing the class. Others would say "you inspire me to workout harder. My workout partner hate it when they do it but I told her that it did not bother me at all. I think it is an honor to be inspiring to people.

    I believe if it motivates you continue to watch it. Great job on your fat % reduction.

  12. I caught the last half hour, and I bawled immediately. They have so much fight!

  13. Just wanted to drop you a note and thank you for always having such great comments on our site. You really do help keep me motivated, and you always know just the right thing to say. I think you are pretty terrific and feel honored that you follow our blog! :)

  14. I TOTALLY almost bought myself one last night, too! Man. I've talked myself off of the ledge though because I want a Kindle more. But soon . . .

    Good luck this week!

  15. The show was totally wrenching - and we are so alike. Before I would NEVER watch shows with "fat" people, and now I can't get enough. You'll have to post about your Body Bug - I don't have one and am not sure if I should get one

  16. Girl, that is AWESOME progress. We all start somewhere. It's not where you start, it is how you proceed.

    I was wondering about the BUGG but damn that is alot of money. I wonder how much the watches are that tell you calorie burn. Hmmmm, note to self, look that up. Since I had to pay that crap ass ticket I cannot follow suit on this so tell me how you like it.

  17. I started reading you a couple of weeks ago when someone said something about your charts (?) or charting? I don't remember exactly. But I followed because I'm a charter and a lister and an analyzer (not an analyst, mind you...) too.
    Anyways, I mention this because I also calculated the BMIs of all the contestants last night to see where I fit in. And I fit right in. Sigh.
    I bought a BodyBugg in January, (same price, same promotion as you) and have to say you're going to love, love, love it, Chartgirl. (Except their food journal database sucks compared to others - Sparkpeople for example.) Just do yourself a favor and wear yours for more than 2 months.

  18. I'm going to have to google bug too. Good job on the weight loss.

  19. Check out my blog for FINAL say in what we do to Team Dasher!

  20. Yay! I'm so glad you got a BodyBugg! You're gonna love it! I felt the same way about The Biggest Loser. I didnt start watching until the end of last season. When I was "fatter" than I am now it was too painful to watch. I too liked to focus on other things than my weight.

  21. I love the Biggest Loser! I admire thier strength but I can never go through the everyday hustle with Jillian screaming at me.
    I would cry just by the thought of her coming into the gym.
    I'm trying to get back on the wagon it is taking longer than I thought but I am working on it. Reading your blog has helped as well.
    My site is
    It's an Food Addicts Rant to Recovery